argh!!!!!

oh MAN i had a HUGE post written. then firefox screwed me over.....
and its gone.
grumble

pretty much:
put out good vibes for Morgan re: REALLY good job in a company that isnt a sinking ship.

Addy, is THREE!!!

baby, lots of prodromal labor in the early mornings. nothing "real" yet.

me, super uncomfortable, but happy to be almost 39 weeks pregnant.

family, we got our family pics taken by the lovely and local Shayla, she has ten pics done and ready to preview here. they are the first ten on the page. arent they FABULOUS?

and a c/p from MDC that i wrote when i was feeling melancholy in the wee hours of the morning before Addys birthday:

in two hours my baby will officially have been on this earth for three years.
three years ago i was flat on my back in a hospital pushing with all my might.
three years ago RIGHT NOW i was numb from the waist down trying with every ounce of strength to push my very posterior baby with a big head out of my body while laying down flat unable to move.
in an hour it will be three years since there was talk of c-section.
and in two hours, it will have been three years since my baby was cut from my abdomen.
and in three hours it will have been three years since i first held her and looked into her eyes while she nursed for the first time.
when we wake in the morning i will have an official three year old child sleeping next to me.
my sweet sweet little baby isnt a baby anymore.
she isnt a toddler either
my baby is now my big preschooler girl.
she can put her own shoes on and gets dressed by herself, she is swimming, and climbing and creating. she is brushing her own teeth and hair, and has her own opinion on EVERYTHING.
she is sensitive and empathetic, she is stubborn and wild.
she is funny and smart and witty. she is cranky crabby and fussy.
she makes me laugh, and she makes me cry. and sometimes she makes me want to pull my own hair out.
she makes my heart ache when i look at her knowing she will never be that little baby ever again and will just continue to grow and develop and reach more and more milestones.
someday i am going to see her going off to college, or moving cross country to experiment with living on her own, or having children of her own, whatever she chooses with her life, i am going to see it happen.
she is going to be a full grown child. then a full grown preeteen, and then a real teenager!
and someday, *sniff sniff* she is going to be a real live full grown woman. just like i am now. and i will be looking her face to face, woman to woman. we will talk frankly of politics, and love, and passions, of art, and of life. she will be a peer.
but forever my baby.
forever and always will she be the sweet sweet little baby that i once held in my arms and nursed, and shushes, and swayed with in the middle of the night.
she will always be the baby i carried in my body for so long, playing games with me from the inside, me poking at her, her kicking me back. she will forever be the little girl who told me who she was, in a dream, before she was ever created.
she is my daughter.
and she is 3.


and soon, i will have a new baby, and someday SHE will be three, and i will be flooded with all those same emotions.
wow. being a mom is brutal!

now, baby, lets get the show on the road!