family update

youngest to oldest eh?

Niamh: saying a huge ammount of words, lets see if i can remember them all: hi, bye, up, dog, doll, book, ball, bubble, Addy, mama, daddy, nana, papa, more, balik(for milk), teetee(for kitty), and thats all i can remember off the top of my head. i am SURE there are more.
she signs doggy, mama, milk, ball, waves bye and hi, and sometimes on occasion signs more.
She has first two top teeth, and three bottom teeth in. and the last front bottom tooth is giving us a really hard time. its made her clingy and whiney and all over crabby.
she isnt army crawling anymore, ts up on handsand knees now, and she is cruising around holding onto furniture!!!! on the bed she can also stand all by herself for up to 30 seconds, but hasnt yet tried it on the hard floor. cautious just like big sis was.
and, she is going to be 1 (one!!!!!!!) on the 29th, so, i have started feeling a little bittersweet watching all of these milestones happen.

Addy: is just blowing me away with some of the stuff she says. lots of "actually" and "in fact" and "welllllllll" she is a sass pants and a half!
she is learning to write her name, can write some other letters too. she draws whole stick figures, with hands and feet, and faces, she can sight read about 20 words, including Subway. btw, according to Addy "did you know that Subway means 'eat fresh'?" lol.
She is wearing a size 12 shoe! i think i was in 2nd grade wearing a 12!!!! she is wearing 6/7 tops and 7/8 bottoms. seriously growing!
For Addys birthday coming up my mom and dad bought her a puppy, just for her.
she is head over heels in love with him. he is 12 weeks old, a shih tzu dachshund mix but he looks like a teddy bear. She named him Brownie, like the dessert, cause he is so sweet.
she snuggles him to sleep every night.
its so hard to wrap my brain around the fact that Addy will be 4 in 6 days! four!!! she is.... just amazing. i love her so much it hurts.

me: still fighting the good fight and starting to come out on top of the PPD. it hit me really hard this time and it took me a while to accept it. for some reason i thought i couldnt possibly have ppd, because i had a perfect birthing experience, and two wonderful beautiful children. but i DO have it, and i have to make a big effort to tae my 5-htp a few time a day, and not let myself get sucked into the negative thoughts.
i am trying to do wii fit often, and find that the more i do it, the better i feel. but like everything else its not easy to accomplish when i have an 11mo cling on and an almost 4 yo tazmanian devil.
i currently have the ick. feeling hard to breathe, sore throat, full lungs, and faucet nose.
amazingly no one else is really sick. just me.
most night i am crying myself to sleep, because of whats below.

Morgan: oh man. where to start.
long story short. Morgan needs heart surgery. to replace his aorta, and possibly a valve.
it will be soon ish we think. still need to go have the consult with the surgeon together as a couple.
he has amazing doctors working with him to get him the best care available.
he is SO full of anxiety. he is popping lorazepam like its candy.
i am trying really hard to be supportive and be his rock. but its really hard for me to take care of two kids and a negative sucking black hole of anxiety for a husband. i KNOW i need to be the best wife i can be and support him. but he is acting like a victim and not a survivor, and i honestly dont know how to emotionally cope with it. i'm trying tho. and i hope he knows i love him and will take care of him no matter what.

its HOT here this week. all i want to do is go jump in the pool.
but Niamh hates it and screams the whole time, and then screams if someone else is holding her while i go in.
i think she is afraid it will extinguish her flame. my lil leo baby.
but my little cancer crab baby loves going swimming, so she is doing lots of it with Nana.